I am a meditator.

& so many interesting things have come into my life through meditation. Tonight I want to talk about one in particular, because it has been the theme of my whole week.

Earlier this week I posted a Note on Substack about how much I adore my clean kitchen counters and it resonated with quite a few of you. If I haven’t gotten back to your reply yet, I will. I intend to read and respond to every single one.

What that Note sparked for me was just how magical my kitchen is. It continues to be a gift that gives and gives and gives to me, a beautiful place that nourishes my family. Tonight I want to share the story of how this kitchen materialized into form in my life.

First we have to rewind. A little less than a decade.

The vision

I had this beautiful meditation and in it I saw this kitchen. White countertops. So serene. The light was amazing. In the meditation I was standing in one particular corner of my now kitchen and I was sharing a book that I had published. In front of me were all my friends and family, celebrating the book launch with me!

That part of the manifestation has not come into full form yet and I promise it will. I definitely have a book brewing inside of me and I do look forward to that book party.

Back to ten years ago. I have this vision of the kitchen, me, the book, the whole thing.

At the time I was living in a home that my husband and I had purchased, on a lake in a neighboring town to where I live now. That home held a lot of dense energy, and it was honestly a very challenging chapter in our lives. We did not live there long. While we were there we had to undergo a pretty major renovation just to get it livable, so we were working with this amazing team. Refined Renovations, they were called. If you’re local to me, they’re lovely, lovely human beings and they actually helped me through what became a very difficult experience. We’ll get there.

So we’re designing the kitchen, and I’m telling them about my vision. I said, I had this meditation, I had this vision, this is my kitchen. It’s bright white, here’s the windows, here’s the orientation, da-da-da-da-da. They kept coming back to me and saying, Katie, we just can’t make that kitchen work.

Nope, nope, nope, nope. This is my kitchen. I know this is my kitchen.

They kept coming back. We danced back and forth. They were doing their absolute best and it was not coming together.

The shaman

Around this time I had a shaman come to the house. An amazing gentleman who spends part of his time in the US and part of his time in Europe, a really magical soul, Patrick. I invited him over and explained that the house was holding a lot of dense energy and I’d love his support clearing it.

In parallel to all of this, because I think so often our internal realities mirror our external realities, my husband was deeply in the throes of addiction. I was also working a big corporate job with two really small children, to give you the lay of the land.

What else was happening then. My body was going numb pretty much every night, which is a whole other story. For now I’ll just share that I was numbing out a lot of what was happening in my reality, because it was too big and too much to process. The little kiddos, the big job, the house literally falling apart and this family disease of addiction. It was a lot. My body is a great wisdom keeper for me, so when things go awry, they show up in my body big time. Does this happen to you too?

All of this is happening and I am still dead set… this is my kitchen, this is my kitchen, this is my kitchen.

The shaman sat in front of my house by a tree for about three hours. Then he came in and said, Katie, you need to wait three to four months before you do anything.

Just pause the renovation.

I looked at him like, are you kidding me. You want me to wait three to four months? The house is falling apart. It’s a disaster.

I felt his truth and it felt true to me too. I knew he was not wrong and I did not really want to listen. So I compromised and slowed things down.

As maybe you can imagine, my life imploded in pretty dramatic ways over the next three to four months. My husband left. We needed to sell the house. I needed to buy a new one in rapid order.

There are so many spin-offs of this story I could share. Tonight I’m going to really try to stay focused on the kitchen.

Heart pings on Zillow

I am a person who moves. When things become clear and there is no resolve in sight, I take action. I ended up buying a house within about two weeks, which is kind of wild.

I was scrolling through houses online, feeling really grateful that I had the support and was in a position to make this happen. It was clear that as a soon to be single mother I was not staying in the fixer upper by myself. I needed a space that was move in ready, that felt good, that could be a healing home for me and the kids.

So I’m scrolling through Zillow, and I come across this one listing. Something about it pings me. Pings my heart. I’m like, ooh, I have to see this.

While all of this is going on, I ended up calling my doctor, of all people. He said, you need to call my wife. What? His wife is a realtor, which I had not known. I called her, and she and her team miraculously sold the fixer upper for me, which was amazing. Then she took me to see the house that had pinged me on Zillow.

I walk in the front door. I wander around. I turn the corner.

And there is my kitchen.

Hmm.

Yeah. She’s right there.

My heart settled.

This is what makes meditation so fascinating to me, how these visions come to us, and how when we trust the heart pings and the people brought into our lives and the signs and the symbols, we get led in the right direction.

I was led to this beautiful kitchen in an incredibly gnarly time in my life. The moment I walked in, I knew everything was going to be okay and it was all going to work out. This has truly been a healing home for me and my family and it has been a co-creator in my reality, this home that I did eventually buy.

What I really want to say is that when you get those signs, whether it’s through dreams or meditations, or maybe you’re just driving down the highway and you get the urge to turn a different direction, I invite you to really trust them. There’s so much support all around us, leading us in these beautiful directions.

One more musing from this week

In closing, a brief story from a few days ago.

I was volunteering at one of my kiddos’ schools for their fall festival, which is an amazing day where everyone’s outside and there’s caramel apples. I was working the apple cider press. You can make your own pickles, there are hay rides. It’s a cool, cool day.

I worked my shift from ten to twelve, and then I had this funny window. Not quite enough time to go home, not short enough to just stick around and wait. So I figured I’d take a little drive and see where I land.

Where she goes to school there’s very little cell reception, so I could not plug anything into my maps. I thought, ooh, this is a great self-trust exercise. Listening to my intuition and seeing where I’m guided. I am very direction illiterate. So I just felt into my heart.

The first thing I come across is this beautiful field of zinnias. I pull over, I get out, I take a picture, I take in the magnificence of it. The zinnias are all set right against this backdrop of fall leaves and trees. Ooh. Okay. This is off to a great start.

I jump back in the car, wander down the road, and I see this body of water. If you know me, I am a water girl. Ooh, what is this.

I get closer and I see the sign for Walden Pond.

I am now five minutes from my daughter’s school and I had no idea this pond was so close.

I pull over, I park, I wander down and it’s just a gorgeous day. There are people swimming. It’s October here in New England, and quite a number of them are elders in wetsuits. Some couples. A very heartwarming scene.

I find a little cozy nook and I lie down and I close my eyes and I listen to the water and the birds and feel the sunshine on my face, and I do a meditation. I slip right into that space, feeling the sun warming my heart, expanding in gratitude for the day, in awe of the whole thing. Five minutes from my daughter’s school there is this remarkable, beautiful, historic, sacred site.

When I finish, I’m getting hungry. Now I’m really not sure where I could possibly drive to get something to eat, and the GPS still isn’t working. Okay Goddess. Show me. Show me lunch.

I keep driving, I make some turns and I land in Concord Center, which I’ve been to before, so I know it. I park, I wander to this little lunch spot, and I have an amazing sandwich, and it fills me right up.

We really are so divinely guided.

When we develop those self-trust muscles, so much opens up in our lives. I think everyone should try this. When you have two free hours, go for a drive and see where you land.

Don’t follow the GPS. Follow your internal GPS.

When you receive signs and symbols and synchronicities, trust them and ask for help.

I asked for help and I was led to some beautiful places this week.

That’s my Friday evening share, from my heart to yours.

Trust your light, because what lights you up lights up the world.

K 💖

I Saw It in a Meditation Before I Saw It on…